In a reverse parallelism structure Paul reviews his past and anticipates his future (vv. 18-21, 22-24), and then in particular relation to the Ephesians he describes his future and makes an apologetic for his past conduct (v. 25, 26-27). He appeals to their personal experience—you know—as he points to his consistency during the whole time he was with them.

Paul reminds them of the model life he has lived as he served the Lord. The term Paul uses (douleuo) points to the slave-master relationship (Judg 10:16; 1 Sam 12:20; Lk 16:13). Paul's allegiance to his Lord determined the conduct of his ministry. His leadership was servant leadership, the humility of a lowly mind (22:25-27; Eph 4:2). His involvement was intensely personal, for he shed the tears of a tender heart, sorrowing over rejections of the gospel without the church and resistance to its full work within the church (Acts 20:31; 2 Cor 2:4). His was the steadfast endurance of a tough skin in the face of trials (NIV severely tested [peirasmos: "trial," "test," "temptation"], Lk 22:28) from plots of the Jews (Acts 9:24; 20:3; compare 19:33-34).

For Luke, orthopraxy—in this case the messenger's character and manner of ministry—is just as important as orthodoxy, the message. One effectively says goodby by reminding those left behind of a model life lived before them.

Paul's past ministry also includes a "model word" characterized by comprehensiveness in presentation and in the looked-for response. In audience, both Jews and Greeks (19:8-10; Eph 2:11-22), in venue, publicly and from house to house (Acts 19:9; compare 5:42), in content, anything that would be helpful, Paul did not hesitate (hypostello, "shrink back in fear," opposite parresiazomai, "speak boldly") to preach (anangello, " `to announce, to inform, to tell,' provide information with the possible implication of considerable detail" [Louw and Nida 1988:1:411]) and to teach them. This reminder of his approach arms the elders for the future, when false teachers will claim that their "other gospel" is an essential supplement to Paul's (20:21, 27).

The looked-for response from both Jews and Gentiles is that they must turn to God in repentance (literally, "repentance toward God") and have faith in our Lord Jesus. The brief phrase "repentance toward God" captures the whole process of conversion, which Luke elsewhere describes as "repent and turn to God and prove . . . repentance . . . by deeds" (26:20). What is in the forefront is turning to God with all one's being, an absolutely serious reckoning with him as one's God in all one's decisions, as the Old Testament prophets called for (Jer 34:15; 26:3-5; Hos 6:1-3; Behm and Wurthwein 1967:985). For the Jew it is a returning, for the Gentile a turning to the one true God for the very first time (Acts 14:15; 1 Thess 1:9).

As repentance is paired with the salvation blessing "forgiveness of sins" in Luke's seminal statement of the gospel (Lk 24:47), so here the repentance response is coupled with faith in our Lord Jesus. Only unconditional trust in the Lord, in whose name—that is, on whose authority and by whose saving work—forgiveness can be proclaimed, secures this salvation provision (Acts 16:31; see these themes at 19:4-5, 10, 18, 20; Eph 1:13, 15, 19; 2:8; 3:17; 4:5, 13; 6:16, 23). In such brief compass Theophilus and we could not be told better what is required to become a Christian. Repentance, total surrender to God, complete trust in his Son: with these the journey on the path of grace into and in the kingdom must be begun, continued and completed (Acts 20:24-25).

Saying, "And now behold," Paul turns abruptly to sketch his future as far as he knows it. In the process he models some further character traits that, because they reveal faithfulness to the ministerial calling, these elders also need for the future. Paul's next steps are in obedience to the Spirit's compulsion. He says he goes to Jerusalem "having been bound by the Spirit." There may be a play on words here, for the same verb is used for the divine necessity that compels and guides Paul and the binding of being handcuffed and incarcerated (deo, Lk 9:22; Acts 1:16; 19:21; 21:11, 13, 33; 22:29; 23:11; 24:27; 27:24; compare 20:23, desma).

Paul's obedience includes an ability to live with uncertainty even when what he does know about the future is not encouraging. Whether by prophet or direct revelation, the Holy Spirit testifies to him in every city that prison and hardships (better "afflictions" born of persecution, thlipsis) await him in Jerusalem. Though all Christians may not be called to endure imprisonment for the faith, if they would enter the kingdom they must so live under Jesus' lordship that, like their Lord, they will find themselves walking the path of suffering leading to glory (Lk 24:26; Acts 14:22; compare 11:19).

There is, then, no final contradiction between the Spirit's compulsion and the Spirit's warning. God mercifully prepares his servant to count the cost of his daily cross-bearing in a fallen world that hates his Christ and those who own his name (Lk 9:23; 12:4-12; 21:12-19).

Paul expressly counts the cost and does it in terms of his life (psyche, "soul, life"). In biblical understanding the psyche can mean "life on earth in its external physical aspects; seat and center of the inner life of man in its many and varied aspects; and seat and center of life which transcends the earthly" (Bauer, Gingrich and Danker 1979:893). With this range of meaning human beings can face in one word the choice of which dimension to invest themselves in (Lk 9:24; 12:23). Paul states the choice and his decision in the form of relative worth. In the face of impending prison and hardships, he makes his psyche (his physical existence) of no value in the sense that he does not choose to preserve it at all costs. Rather, he chooses to pursue the purpose the Lord Jesus has for him: the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace (Acts 9:15-16). Paul calls this pursuit "finishing a race" (compare 13:25; 2 Tim 4:7) and "completing a task" (diakonia, a ministry or service). Paul sees his presence in Jerusalem as an integral part of his apostolic gospel ministry. Certainly the good news is all about grace, God's unmerited saving favor bestowed on Jew and Gentile without distinction (Eph 2:5, 7-8; 3:2). And what better, more needy place to testify to it than Jerusalem, that bastion of works righteousness.

Paul's future and his past are all of a piece, and so should ours be. No matter the outward circumstances, even if they include impending threats, our conduct should consistently fulfill our one calling as servants of the Lord Jesus who testify to his one message: the gospel of God's grace.

Paul now relates his future prospects to the Ephesians: None of you . . . will ever see me [literally, "my face"] again. Again his ministry is in the forefront of his thought. These Ephesians are those among whom [he has] gone about preaching [kerysso] the kingdom. Of the terms for preaching and evangelizing, this one

characterizes the concrete proclamation of the message in a particular instance, with special reference to the claim that is being made, and its authority to set up a new order. It includes information, but is always more than mere instruction or a bare offer, and is equally distinct from the communication of philosophical teaching or general wisdom. Kerysso sets a standard which to ignore is not simply indifference but refusal. (Coenen 1978:57)

Preaching the kingdom not only ushers persons into a personal relationship with the King, Jesus, but creates a personal bond between evangelist and evangelized, now both subjects of the kingdom. Paul's statement also shows that the pioneer church planter, though he is a church's first pastor, must have an itinerant ministry. He must know when to let go: when the planting is done and the pastoral team, leaders in the next spiritual generation, must water so that the harvest may bear fruit to maturity (1 Cor 3:6). To stay too long is to allow dependency to stifle growth.

Paul now turns to his past and its significance for the Ephesians' eternal destiny. Like the watchman of Ezekiel 33:9, Paul has no blood on his hands. He is innocent (literally, "clean"; 18:6) of the blood of all men. Why? I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God (compare v. 20 for the same verbs: hesitate, preach/proclaim). Will of God (he boule tou theou) combines the ideas of purpose and plan and often refers to the divine plan of salvation accomplished through the Messiah's suffering (2:23; 4:28; compare 13:36). Here Paul affirms that he held nothing back of the gospel revelation, especially those parts dealing with judgment. Do we preach the whole gospel, so when God calls us to another field we too can say with good conscience that we have told the people everything they need to know about the plan of salvation?